I am always at my wits end when I hear some of the ridiculous reasons why some woman give in to premarital sex against their better judgement. I have heard once too often that some have fallen prey to the popular or should I say unpopular blue balls syndrome. Since I grew up without a brother and attended a girls’ high school, I must say I am not an authority on the male anatomy. As a result, this blue balls syndrome has always piqued my curiosity.

According to wikipedia, “Blue balls is a slang term for the condition of temporary fluid congestion (vasocongestion) in the testicles accompanied by testicular pain, caused by prolonged sexual arousal in the human male without ejaculation. The term is thought to have originated in the United States, first appearing in 1916. Some urologists call the condition “epididymal hypertension; A condition that is not experienced by all males.”

Another article on titled What exactly happens when a guy gets blue balls? Or is this just a myth?” also caught my attention.  According to the author, “If a sexually aroused guy does not ejaculate, there is a buildup of pressure, and his super sensitive balls feel the brunt of it. The sensation can range from a mild ache to worse-than-getting-kicked-in-the-crotch pain.”

He further explained that “it is not dangerous, and the guy can deal with it, whether that means helping himself out or waiting it out. The blood will eventually drain and any discomfort will disappear on its own. It’s called blue balls because the blood that has been in the scrotum for a while loses oxygen and can give the appearance of a bluish tinge.”

With a better understanding of what blue balls really is, the question that plagues my mind is whether it is a justification for a woman to give in to premarital sex. I do empathize with the men who go through this excruciating pain at the point of sexual arousal. However, I do not agree that a woman should be coerced into sex or should I rather say give in to sex to alleviate this pain.

2 Peter 1:5-7 reads “For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love.” To the brother who feels the only way he can alleviate his pain is through sex, self- control is a better option. Men who have learned to control themselves have kept trouble at bay.

Also, according to 1 Corinthians 10:13, No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. Another key here is endurance and not gratification at all cost. Blue balls is not a justification for premarital sex.

Another point worthy of note is that women also experience pain. Physical pain that can be far more excruciating than blue balls. This happens just by virtue of their biological make up. These include menstrual pain, ovulation pain, child birth pain, painful miscarriages, painful sex etc.

1 Corinthians 6:18-19 says “Run from sexual sin! No other sin clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself.”

1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God.”

Premarital sex has far reaching consequences than blue balls. So to a sister who thinks she is being cruel by refusing to alleviate someone’s blue balls pain through sex, I say weigh your options. Remember that apart from incurring the wrath of God, you risk dealing with an unwanted pregnancy, a sexuality transmitted disease, an abortion, guilt, shame and a possible broken heart from the same person whose blue balls pain you helped alleviate.



  1. I haven’t heard this term in a long time lol! I think it is sad that boys try to pressure girls to have sex because of an issue they are having. Those are the kind of guys you want to stay away from. Great topic!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’ve never read the biology behind this before. Very informative! We can really make all the excuses we want, but we have to decide before we are in compromising situations what we are going to do. Otherwise, there will always be a reason to give in! True love really is worth the wait.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Very informative. Thank you for sharing. There are so many reasons not to have premarital sex and so few even excuses people can come up with. It’s definitely worth the wait and I pray women and men would learn from this and remember to use self control!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I love this. You have to intentionally decide together to not have sex before marriage and then it’s easier to make sure that you are not in compromising situations. When it is a decision that is made together, it will be easier to keep together.


    Liked by 1 person

  5. Wow I never heard this term and I went to public school. I wholeheartedly agree with you waiting for your husband is the best choice. Ive done a few writings on the importance of purity as well.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Your second paragraph reveals the true issue. “Caused by prolonged sexual arousal”. – the man shouldn’t have allowed himself in that situation to begin with. But in any case, the situation does NOT ache with “worse than getting kicked in the crotch pain” as the quoted Cosmopolitan artcle states. It is NOTHING like that. This is a completely endurable situation, and nature provides a “nocturnal emission” to relieve the problem.

    This is nothing more than a ruse to get a woman to agree to sex.


  7. I was not a virgin, and I was far from pure when I became a Christian. But I learned a new way of being in accordance with my life as a new creation. I did not dress provocatively (it was never my thing anyway), and more importantly, I did not get in a compromising situation with a man. When my husband and I were dating, we made sure never to be alone behind closed doors, or – for instance – in a parked car somewhere dark and secluded. And we communicated with each other when the other was getting too close so that we could protect each other’s purity.

    I think the syndrome you referenced is the surface wound, not the deep issue. If a dating couple is careful not to tempt the other beyond what he or she can bear, this simply won’t happen. You learn to build a true friendship, a brothers and sisters friendship, and not – like it says in Song of Songs – to awaken love before it desires.

    That was my thought when I read your post. But I think you’re right in raising awareness that women should not be duped. Women should be both considerate of their boyfriend, and strong in their convictions.

    Hugs, Nyarkoah! (hope I spelled that right). 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes u spelt that right. I really love your dimension. I like the fact that you were far from pure when you came to Christ. Many people shy away from becoming Christians because they are led to believe they must become pure before they come to Christ. But the word of God tells us in Luke 5: 32 “I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners and need to repent.” No one is free from sin or temptation. It is by the Grace and Mercies of God that we can call ourselves children of God.



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