Tag: deception

BLUE BALLS IS NOT AN EXCUSE FOR SEX

BLUE BALLS IS NOT AN EXCUSE FOR SEX

I am always at my wits end when I hear some of the ridiculous reasons why some woman give in to premarital sex against their better judgement. I have heard once too often that some have fallen prey to the popular or should I say unpopular blue balls syndrome. Since I grew up without a brother and attended a girls’ high school, I must say I am not an authority on the male anatomy. As a result, this blue balls syndrome has always piqued my curiosity.

According to wikipedia, “Blue balls is a slang term for the condition of temporary fluid congestion (vasocongestion) in the testicles accompanied by testicular pain, caused by prolonged sexual arousal in the human male without ejaculation. The term is thought to have originated in the United States, first appearing in 1916. Some urologists call the condition “epididymal hypertension; A condition that is not experienced by all males.”

Another article on cosmopolitan.com titled What exactly happens when a guy gets blue balls? Or is this just a myth?” also caught my attention.  According to the author, “If a sexually aroused guy does not ejaculate, there is a buildup of pressure, and his super sensitive balls feel the brunt of it. The sensation can range from a mild ache to worse-than-getting-kicked-in-the-crotch pain.”

He further explained that “it is not dangerous, and the guy can deal with it, whether that means helping himself out or waiting it out. The blood will eventually drain and any discomfort will disappear on its own. It’s called blue balls because the blood that has been in the scrotum for a while loses oxygen and can give the appearance of a bluish tinge.”

With a better understanding of what blue balls really is, the question that plagues my mind is whether it is a justification for a woman to give in to premarital sex. I do empathize with the men who go through this excruciating pain at the point of sexual arousal. However, I do not agree that a woman should be coerced into sex or should I rather say give in to sex to alleviate this pain.

2 Peter 1:5-7 reads “For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love.” To the brother who feels the only way he can alleviate his pain is through sex, self- control is a better option. Men who have learned to control themselves have kept trouble at bay.

Also, according to 1 Corinthians 10:13, No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. Another key here is endurance and not gratification at all cost. Blue balls is not a justification for premarital sex.

Another point worthy of note is that women also experience pain. Physical pain that can be far more excruciating than blue balls. This happens just by virtue of their biological make up. These include menstrual pain, ovulation pain, child birth pain, painful miscarriages, painful sex etc.

1 Corinthians 6:18-19 says “Run from sexual sin! No other sin clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself.”

1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God.”

Premarital sex has far reaching consequences than blue balls. So to a sister who thinks she is being cruel by refusing to alleviate someone’s blue balls pain through sex, I say weigh your options. Remember that apart from incurring the wrath of God, you risk dealing with an unwanted pregnancy, a sexuality transmitted disease, an abortion, guilt, shame and a possible broken heart from the same person whose blue balls pain you helped alleviate.

Advertisements
MY BODY IS NO LONGER FOR SALE!

MY BODY IS NO LONGER FOR SALE!

NB: This story is purely fictional and a result of my active imaginations. It is unrelated to any person dead or alive; any such resemblance is purely coincidental.

Amanda was single- handedly raised by her mother when her father died at the tender age of four. Her mother worked hard to ensure she had a good education and life’s basic comforts. Despite this, she fell into bad company when she entered the university. Lured by a group of friends who introduced her to a notorious pimp, her life took a turn for the worst. No more was she satisfied with the little her mother gave her. She became aware of the fact that with her graceful body, she could acquire more possessions for herself. Little did she know that she was gradually turning into something she had sworn never to become, a prostitute. By the time she realized where her greed had taken her, it was too late. After a year, she was afraid of leaving the group for fear of victimization. They threatened to expose her if she ever backed out. Furthermore, her shame prevented her from going home to her mother who had discovered her secret. Her mother begged her to return to the God who never left her. The beckoning of the Holy Spirit was becoming stronger by the day. An ugly encounter with her pimp was all the excuse she needed to run back to the place of security. Enough was enough, she stopped running from God and submitted to him. He was the only one who could turn her situation around.

 

 

God,

My heart bleeds in response to its ache. My body is so used and tired; I feel like 55 instead of 25. How did I get here? How did I go so far from you? How did I allow myself to be used like this, shoving the love you have for me in your face? Have I proved to you that sending your son to die for my sake was in vain?

Do you look down at me with disgust and regret creating me after your own image? Oh, how lucky I am that when you sigh, it does not blow me away into the pit of hell. That is where I deserve to be. If I could get away with it, I would take my own life and risk heaven. But I know better even though my life is bitter.

I have tried coming back to you several times but my head hangs so low; I cannot lift it up to you. I am grateful that even with my head buried in the ground my words are audible to you oh mighty God. Save me from myself! I am tired just as my body is tired. I am tired of the whispered lies of love in my ears at night. My mind is filled with Lies from men who want nothing but a moment of pleasure.

I am tired of how my body has been invaded making me an open book for every man to read. I am tired of the rough hands that daily grasp my tender breasts. I am tired of the pain and the useless gains. I am tired of my guilt, which evades my conscience reminding me of who I have become.

I am tired of the looks of lust in the eyes of men old enough to be my father. I am tired of how they disregard my mind like junk when I attempt an intelligent conversation. I am tired of the looks of pity as people pass me by; I dread the thoughts they think of me. I am tired of turning my head in another direction to avoid the looks in peoples’ eyes when they see me by the roadside. I am tired of how they move further away as if afraid I will infect them with a dreadful disease just by coming close. Oh lord, I am weary!

My disregard for the church close to where I stand at night looking for clients tears at my soul. My crime is greater because I defile my body that is your holy temple as well as the church built in which to worship you. The beauty you endowed me with has condemned me; I could not use it for your glory. I have misused the wisdom you gave me and directed it into folly. Your mercy is all I seek; I can ask of nothing more. Even though I have more belongings, I am perishing with the weight of sin.

Because of me, innocent men have fallen prey to seduction leaving them as helpless victims. Many could not survive the temptation when I exposed my breasts and my private parts to them in the dark. I am always ready to extract their riches causing them misfortunes. When the catholic priest I was able to lure into my bed run out weeping, my power over him gave me no joy. His shame was enough to destroy my gain. My conscience is dead and no longer convicts me. When did the Holy Spirit depart from me depart? I searched and found him no more.

When did the clothes that covered my body become so easy to discard? Little by little, ignoring the promptings of the Holy Spirit, I took your mercy and forgiveness for granted. I have entangled myself in a web of sin. You alone can disentangle the web in which I find myself; I cannot come out of it unless you save me. Going deeper into sin was easier for me. I could not retrace my steps because I did not know how to stop.

Night after night as I changed like a chameleon afraid to be recognized, I fooled myself. I wore wigs of different colors and skirts too short announcing my immorality. Underneath my skirts are no underwear. My blouses are so tight I can hardly breathe; My Lipsticks bright and sparkling in the dark as I call out loudly to men. My makeup makes me look older, hiding the innocence beneath. I call out to men unashamedly to come and enjoy my body.

Who will continue to love me but you? Recently, I heard someone preach about how you accept people just as they are. That I don’t need to change to come to you. The thought of change puts fear in me because this is how I have learned to survive. With my body so soiled, can you indeed come to live in me again or did you never leave me? If I come to you right now, will you turn your back on me and rather open your arms to your beautiful virgins who glorify you with their bodies? I pray you reach out and welcome me like the lost sheep that I am.

When I reached out for the bible hidden in my suitcase, I was searching for evidence of your love. I had shoved the bible beneath my clothes for fear of its reminder. To make nonsense of the sacrifice you made for me with the life of your dear son is to reject your mercy. Without your Mercy which I am better dead than alive.

The words in the bible have comforted me and given me the strength to come to you today. However, deep within me I knew you were waiting for me to come to you. The condemnations in the eyes of the preachers who have attempted to turn me from my ways always leave me more ashamed. Did these preachers expect me to follow them to church when their hands pointed disgustedly at me from afar? What safety can I find in a place where the sinner’s sin is always brought up? I do not want some boasting pastors to use me in their sermons claiming to have rescued me from the depths of hell. You alone have the power to rescue me.

You have protected me even in this dangerous profession; how can I explain how I stay healthy regardless? I have escaped Dreadful venereal diseases like HIV and Gonorrhea which have infected even those with few sexual encounters. It is a surprise that you still protect me in my sinful profession. The other day when some of my colleagues pondered how they had been spared from these infections, they claimed it was luck, but I know better. You know the deep-rooted issues in our heart’s that cause us to go astray. Thus, you do not withhold your mercy and grace from us.

Many find themselves here for reasons more tangible than mine. I do not have any excuse for what I have become. I have a hardworking mother who has supported me all this while to make my life comfortable. I may not be as rich as I wanted but I am definitely not a church mouse. Mum’s salary has been enough for both of us since she refused to marry when daddy died. Her dedication to my spiritual growth should have taught me better. Wanting more has almost succeeded in killing me. Set me free! Set me free from this self- inflicted pain.

My poor mother; I wonder how she found out about my little secret. I need to get out of this so I can see her smile again. The day she confronted me I couldn’t lie because I was confounded at her discovery. I will never forget the tears she shed as she knelt before me, begging me to stop. I know I should have changed that day but I was too far-gone. I was too ashamed to look her in the eyes. The disappointment was too much. Remember my mother’s tears as I do and help me turn my evil ways around.

When the pimp told me last week that I was nothing but a piece of trash worth less than a penny, I knew the time had come. The time had come for me to stand up and say No! The time had come to run back to you because at least I am worth more than that to you. The time had come for me to cut off all reminders of the one dime human being I had become. The time had come to wipe the tears from my mother’s eyes; she had not ceased praying to recue me out of the hands of the evil one. The time had come!

Oh, how bold I was to look him squarely in the face as I rose elegantly to my full 6feet height. I know you gave me courage because suddenly all my fear was gone. The look of shock and fear in his eyes made me realize I was worth more than he made me feel. I wonder where the words came from as they tumbled down my lips. Where did I get the strength to slap his face? “I may be worthless to you but I was so important to the one who created me that he sent his only begotten son to die that I may live; to turn this penny to a jewel so refined that you cannot identify her again”. The way he paled before me as I uttered those words made me know I had destroyed his defenses. What a relief I felt as I walked away; it was over. Just like that!

I was setting myself free. I had made him more money than his other prostitutes had but he had used me to his advantage sensing my insatiable need for material possessions. He thought I had nowhere to turn. He did not know that I had a God I who had been waiting for me to turn to him; One who was ready to carry the heavy burden I had placed on my own shoulders. A burden I gladly lay down at your feet. Make me your jewel oh lord, your word stays true. Who can wipe away my sins and set me free? Only you! Who can cause a new beginning to come out of an ugly past? Only you! Past, yes past, I am determined not to turn back to that path that leads to death. If you will not condemn me with my past, I don’t care about what anyone else says.

I put behind me a world I ignorantly entered, lured by the pleasures of life. I am returning to you realizing there is nothing better out there beyond the borders of your love. No matter what people say about me, it is better to enter your kingdom with a tarnished reputation than to miss heaven. Reading the bible like a thirsty drunk calms my spirit and makes me surer of one thing. It is a lie that you will not accept me as I am. It is for people like me that you sent your son. Like Paul, you will use me to confound those who thought it was over for me. I will no longer bow down my head in shame. You have already carried my shame on the cross!

I am no more Amanda the prostitute; I am Amanda the worthless vessel in transition to becoming a vessel of honor. Amanda the apple of your eye; that is what the word says you call your children. Come back into my heart Jesus and drive away all that is not worthy of your holy temple. Come back and take your place where I have placed others above you. Come and be seated in the comfort of my heart where you can heal all that is wrong within me for I am coming home again. Like the prodigal son, I have no more fears. You will give me your oil of gladness in your presence where there is fullness of joy. I am coming home to you right here where you never left me even though I left you a hundred times. I am back to my first love. I am here to stay!

I will no more look behind my shoulder only to see my own shadow. No more looking in the mirror to see a caricature looking at me dressed in ridiculous seductive clothing. No more ties with those who tied me down. No more believing in lies about your love for me; your word is my truth! If anyone recognizes the innocence beneath the decorated caricature, let the one pesewa coin shine as the jewel you will turn me into. I am ready to shine both day and night.

I come to you just as I am without fear of rejection. Back to the place of your security I come, where I belong. I am here to stay!

Amen.

 

 RELATED BIBLE VERSE

Psalm 32: 1-6

1          Oh, what joy for those whose rebellion is forgiven, whose sin is put out of sight!

2          Yes, what joy for those whose record the LORD has cleared of sin, whose lives are lived in complete honesty!

3          When I refused to confess my sin, I was weak and miserable, and I groaned all day long.

4  Day and night your hand of discipline was heavy on me. My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat.

5          _ Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide them.

I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the LORD.” And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone.

6          Therefore, let all the godly confess their rebellion to you while there is time,

that they may not drown in the floodwaters of judgment.

 

QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION

  1. Do you believe God is capable of forgiving Amanda for the sin of prostitution?
  2. Why was the psalmist weak and miserable when he refused to confess his sin?
  3. How did Amanda’s realization that God would not reject her despite her promiscuity set her free from bondage?
  4. When Amanda realized how important she was for God to send his only begotten son to die for her, how did she value herself?
  5. Do you know anyone who refuses to accept Jesus Christ because they feel unworthy and sinful?
  6. How will you encourage them or yourself to know that He came for the sinful and not the righteous?
ME AND MY ITCHY EARS!

ME AND MY ITCHY EARS!

Are you a Lebanese? Wait a minute, was he referring to me? I was trapped, I couldn’t turn left or right; it was me alright. The man of God was looking straight at me, asking a question. Every member of the congregation looked to me for an answer. Unfortunately, it was not in the affirmative as they expected. No, I am not Lebanese, I responded. I didn’t add that the blood running through me is 100% Ghanaian although it can be argued that there is a foreign trace from my mother’s lineage.

This was one of the powerful prophets in Ghana or was I wrong? At least that is what I had been told by some respectable colleagues. How come he couldn’t detect I wasn’t Lebanese? Okay let me be merciful to him; he is not the only one to mistake me for someone who comes from another part of the world. Maybe the blonde streaks I had added to my hair contributed to his confusion. But I was surprised a prophet of such repute would make such a mistake. Could it be that he was looking at the physical rather than tapping into the spiritual?

As if that was not enough, he went on to tell me horrible things that the devil had in store for me. Some of the leading questions he asked were totally off track, but I could not vindicate myself. He said things about me that was directly opposite to the reality. But what could I do; I was in the midst of strangers who could not vouch for me. Anytime I answered differently to what he expected me to say, the congregation reacted as if I was lying. What would you do in such a horrible situation? I chose to remain silent and pray that he would quickly finish his prophecy and move on to his next victim. Thank God it was soon over!

What a shame! I wondered what those present would think of me. Fortunately, they were entranced with listening to his banter with his next victim. I was already forgotten; but as for me, I could never forget. This experience left me in fear as I thought of all the evil things the devil had in store for. I couldn’t take my mind of how helpless I had been to defend myself from the untruths in the prophecy. I would wake up in the middle of the night in fear. Unable to take it anymore, I recounted my ordeal to members of my church’s weekly prayer group. They held my hand and prayed for me. God being so good, I was totally set free from that spirit of fear and evil forebodings.

In another incidence, a friend of mine invited myself and other friends to an all-night prayer service in her home. The so-called man of God who was invited to lead the prayer service began prophesying to each of us. When it got to my turn, he told me he had told my friend I would come to the service. And that it was time for me to get closer to God. The way he spoke, it was as if, I did not know God. He sounded as if he had waved a magic wand to get me into the presence of God, my Father. Does this man know who he is talking about at all, I asked myself.

Funny, how people misjudge others from appearance. Interesting how a woman with long robes and a face without makeup is considered holier than the other with a different fashion taste. Don’t get me wrong, I am not referring to improper dressing that exposes what needs to be covered. Or could it be the fact that in my youthful exuberance, I had added two more piercings to my poor ears? Maybe that made it look like there was a wide chasm between God and me. In any case; it was not fun to have someone who knew nothing about my personal relationship with Jesus Christ sound so judgmental.

I remember my younger sister and I desperately wanted to attend an all-night prayer service few years ago. The man of God scheduled to attend had visited our church few weeks ago and we had taking a liking to his teachings. It was being organized by an Anglican church in a community not too far from ours. We were told it was going to be held in a particular high school in that community. Unfortunately, the school we had asked the taxi driver to drive us to was not the one in which the service would be held. But it was too late; the driver had driven off oblivious to our plight. However, we realized there was another Christian prayer service also taking place at that venue.

Are we not serving the same God, we deliberated? If we missed the all-night prayer service at the Anglican Church, we could just join these other worshipers. Maybe God had purposefully directed us to this particular service; we reasoned. After all, like a friend of mine would say, if Jesus is at the center of a service then all Christians are welcome. So my sister Isabella and I made our way to the unknown prayer service. Another surprise! We were entering from the rear end of the church, so the pastor who was standing before the congregation was the only one who could see us. Just then, we heard him say that he had seen in the spirit that two women were about to join the service.

Wait a minute, were we dreaming? Isabella and I looked at each other in surprise not knowing whether to venture into the service or retreat. She followed my lead and went in, but we both knew we had to leave as soon as possible. We had missed it again! We courteously sat for a few minutes and slipped out during their time of praise and worship. Here we were, two young women out in the dark simply because we wanted to go to church! What were we going to do? We were in the middle of nowhere, and we did not want to go back home without attending the all-night prayer service. We prayed and asked God to send help; after all we were out there because of him.

Luckily, we spotted another taxi driver and told him about the Anglican Church service taking place in that community. He assured us he knew where to locate it; according to him, he had just dropped off some passengers at the service. So my sister and I sat in the taxi with me directly behind the driver and my sister by my side. It was in the name of self- defense or an unforeseen attack. That should tell you how scared we were though we did not let it show. Thank God, we did arrive safely to familiar and safer territories. The Church service was in full swing and we could see familiar faces dancing happily. What a relief! Our fear evaporated as we joined them in their joyful praises. We had arrived just in time for the sermon we had not wanted to miss.

These experiences have me very skeptical about prophecies and prophets in general. As a result, anytime I attend a prophetic service, I pray to God that if he has not spoken, no one should speak to me in his name. Thank God it has worked so far! But to tell you the truth, there are times I sit in such a service and wish the man of God would prophesy to me too. I know you are thinking, Matilda! Don’t you ever learn? Of course, I have learnt from my horrible experiences. But when I encounter a true man of God who does not speak unless God has spoken, I want a word! Can I get a witness?

I remember attending such a service with my sister Gloria. We were sitting right under the nose of this powerful man of God. I was in a bright yellow dress that shone brightly in the midst of the others. He would move past us and give wonderful prophecies to those around us and even those sitting behind us. Can’t he see anything? I whispered to my sister. Hmmm, my little sister sighed obviously also eager to hear something good from the man of God. I desperately wanted to know what God had in store for me.

Would it be a wonderful job or my wedding date? Would it be my sister’s secret desire or something special about my mum? Or would it be about my other younger sisters Alberta or Isabella? Wouldn’t it be nice to surprise them at home about how the prophet had seen something about them in their absence? And it was a day when God chose to spare his children from terrible prophecies. I tapped my feet impatiently and held my breath anytime he came close to us. Was he coming to tell me something? But again he would move on to someone sitting close to my sister and me. It was as if we did not exist.

The prophecies were flowing and almost everyone in the congregation seemed to receive a word. Finally, God had mercy on us and asked the man of God to give us a word. We had almost given up and were not expecting him to stop in front of us. However, he came to us and looked me straight in the eye. Guess what he said? God is in control! He turned to my sister and repeated the words God is in control. I waited eagerly for more but he just moved on to the next person. Wait a minute, was that all? I wondered, looking at my sister. What about a new car, a scholarship or a better job opportunity? God is in control? I already knew that!

I laugh at myself anytime I think of this particular encounter. Me and my itchy ears! But I now realize it was a very beautiful prophecy that spoke to my situation at the time. This was a prophet who was not moved to speak when God had not spoken. And this virtue is rare at a time when pleasing people has become more important than pleasing God. Yes, I have gone on to have other specific prophecies after that encounter. It has not all been positive; the devil still has some wicked things in store for me. However, I have a peace about it, since it did not come from a physical influence but the spirit of God. I know the victory had already been won. God reveals to redeem!

1 Corinthians 14:1-40 says “14 Follow the way of love and eagerly desire gifts of the Spirit, especially prophecy. 2 For anyone who speaks in a tongue[a] does not speak to people but to God. Indeed, no one understands them; they utter mysteries by the Spirit. 3 But the one who prophesies speaks to people for their strengthening, encouraging and comfort. 4 Anyone who speaks in a tongue edifies themselves, but the one who prophesies edifies the church. 5 I would like every one of you to speak in tongues,[b] but I would rather have you prophesy. The one who prophesies is greater than the one who speaks in tongues,[c] unless someone interprets, so that the church may be edified.

As for me, I have been both edified and obfuscated by prophecy. But it has played a very vital role in my spiritual walk. I would have given up in certain areas of my life but for the edification and encouragement I received through prophecy. According to Acts 2:17-18 “in the last days it shall be, God declares, that I will pour out my Spirit on all flesh, and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, and your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams; even on my male servants and female servants in those days I will pour out my Spirit, and they shall prophesy.”

Prophecy is a beautiful spiritual gift that will be poured on so many believers in these last days. This is according to the above scripture. But if we are not circumspect, it will do us more harm than good. So let us not ignore 1 John 4: 1 that cautions “Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.” Even as many wolves walk among the flock, let us not rubbish prophecies as admonished in “1 Thessalonians 5:20-21 20 Do not treat prophecies with contempt 21 but test them all; hold on to what is good.”

THE PREMARITAL SEX THREAT

THE PREMARITAL SEX THREAT

When I tune in to relationship programs, I hear too often young women lamenting about how their partners have threatened to leave them if they do not give in to sex. Some of them sound so desperate it is as if their world has come to an end. What breaks my heart is that some fall prey to this blackmail. They actually give in to these premarital sexual demands against their will. Unfortunately, their partners sometimes find other excuses to leave them anyway. I have tried to get into the minds of these precious women to find out why they get themselves entangled in such deceit.

Precious woman, if any man who claims to love you makes such threatening demands of you, this is how I suggest you respond. “Do you not know that my body is the temple of God, I prefer God’s presence to your absence. So walk out and never come back, until you are ready to put a ring on my finger!” Open the door for him to walk or ran out depending on your mood. Instead of crying, jump and shout Hallelujah! Thank God for saving you from disappointment, guilt, heartache, unwanted pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections and the list goes on. This may sound too harsh but the man who truly loves you will be patient until the time is right.

This suggestion may sound scary especially for a woman who has strong feelings for her partner. However, it may also be a way of escaping a dangerous trap. 1st Corinthians 13:4-7 says 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Threatening to leave you unless you give in to premarital sexual demands does not reflect the love described above.

In trying to answer the question of why a woman would give in to such threatening demands, five factors come to mind. 1. She may not have fully comprehended the love of Christ. 2. She underestimates how valuable she is. 3. She may be afraid of human beings rather than the God who cautions her not to defy her body. 4. She has not understood the plans God has for her and 5. She falsely believes she will be left alone, the rest of her life if she should say no and let go.

I recently wrote the words “God loves me unconditionally every day” and pasted it on my bathroom wall. I wanted these words to sink deep into my spirit and soul. I do not want to become so reliant on the love of fellow human beings that I get disappointed if my expectations are not met. As imperfect human beings, we are prone to make mistakes which can make us unlovable. We are sometimes rude, lazy, irresponsible, annoying, insensitive, immoral and selfish. These behaviors can make even those who truly love us keep their distance. I am yet to experience a time when Christ abandoned me because of my many imperfections.

We have heard so often that God loves us that it has become a Cliché. It is more romantic to hear Isaac loves you or Daniel loves you rather than God loves you. After all, can you feel the physical touch of God as that of a real man? Can you audibly hear his deep voice as that of a man that can make shivers run down your spine when he says “I love you”? Probably not, but we can be assured of his unconditional love for us. Romans 5:8, tells us “God commanded his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us”. When we begin to truly believe in his love, no man or woman can ever make us feel unloved.

According to Matthew 6:26 “the birds of the air do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet our heavenly Father feeds them. Are we not much more valuable than they?” Matthew 10:29-31 also says “29 are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. 30 And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31 So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” So, whether we like it or not, we are valuable and must begin to see ourselves as such. The value we place on ourselves has a direct correlation with the value others place on us.

In Psalm 139:13-16 King David wrote “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.” If you have ever doubted how special you are, let this verse serve as a reminder.

We are told in Psalm 111:10, “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom.” Fear here refers to the reverence we have for the Lord our maker. So in the scenario where a woman’s partner threatens to leave her if she refuses his sexual demands, her reaction will determine who she reveres, God or Man. 1st Corinthians 6:19 admonishes “19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own”. Precious woman, your choice speaks clearly of who you revere.

In Acts 5: 29 when Peter and the other apostles were warned not to teach in the name of the Lord, they replied “We must obey God rather than human beings! They were more concerned with pleasing God and did not care for their lives. So if you are asked to give in to sin to satisfy man’s desires, who will you obey? If the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom as stated above, then in such a scenario, we can say the fear of man is the beginning of folly.

Jeremiah 29:11 tells us “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” This is one of my all-time favorite memory verses. It assures me that though life may not make sense at times, it is not the will of God to put me in harm’s way. So if a relationship threatens to harm you, please consider this verse. Be confident of the fact, that it is not the will of God for your life. The future is bright, all hope is not lost.

When a woman is desperately looking forward to getting married, it is easier for her to fall prey to such demands. For instance a woman in her late 20s or early 30s may feel she may be sabotaging her marriage by saying no. The fear of remaining lonely or probably not meeting a better man may make her compromise despite her Christian believes. Sadly, loved ones expected to give encouragement during difficult times sometimes do the opposite. They accuse the already confused lady of being unreasonable.

She is constantly reminded sometimes subtly, that her biological clock is ticking. They portray giving in to sex as such a small sacrifice necessary to secure a life partner. They may even go to the extent of telling her more horrendous sacrifices they themselves had to make to secure their husbands. In times like these, self -motivation is a necessity. There is also the need to always remember that we are accountable to God and not man. Precious one, God is capable of raining down manna from heaven! Will he not grant you the desires of your heart?

I love Don Moen’s song “God will make a way where there seems to be no way”. It speaks directly to the heart of a woman who finds herself in such a dilemma. Sticking to your principles may not make sense to others, but the day God honors your obedience, they will come to understand. God does not put his children to shame! Precious woman “Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; Wait for the Lord! “ Psalm 27:14.

When you stand firm and say no to sin, you may lose friends, loved ones and even family. They may not accept your decision and may even reject you in anger. All of a sudden, you are left alone. The partner you boldly resisted is gone from your life; those you assumed you could count on are nowhere to be found. You feel all hope is lost and even regret your decision. You keep asking yourself if you made the right decision; you wonder if your principles are worth losing those you love. The devil wastes no time in reminding you it is not too late to change your mind.

But that is also a lie of the enemy; you are not alone according to Deuteronomy 31: 6. “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” You are not alone, God loves you, you are valuable, he has good plans for you and in his time, he will make all things beautiful. Until then, Bask in his unconditional love, it is a free gift! Always remember, “God loves you unconditionally every day!”

photo credit: Conversation via photopin (license)

BROKEN PROMISES

BROKEN PROMISES

I was in the company of three naughty male cousins when we met a lovely young woman who according to them was a childhood friend. I had not met her before so I began asking general questions in my quest to know her better. One of my cousins cut into our conversation, he jokingly asked if she was available because he wanted a woman to settle down with.

She quickly responded that she was off-limits, taken and absolutely engaged. With a twinkle in her eyes, she lifted her left arm to show off a ring dazzling on her middle finger. With the seriousness with which she answered, I thought she was actually married at least traditionally.

Interested, I asked if she was married because I felt she was rather too young. She told me her boyfriend had not yet done the necessary traditional rights that would make him lay claim to her but that “He had promised”. I was shocked at the way she had completely believed in the promise without considering the possibility that the gentleman could break it.

Before I could utter a word, the notorious young men in my company burst out unanimously singing a popular praise song. “He has promised he will never fail, I will adore him, I will adore him. He has promised he will never fail, his faithfulness is forever more, his faithfulness is forever more”. We all laughed and the guys continued to tease her.  She became annoyed and told the young men they did not know what was up.

She added that they were jealous and went on to vehemently defend her boyfriend’s undying love for her. I don’t know how the story will end but I pray it ends in a happily ever after and that the gentleman would fulfill his “promise” to walk her down the aisle. Even though I found it amusing at the time, I know it will not be an amusing situation if her boyfriend breaks his promise.

When I was going through marital counseling, my husband and I were so sure we would definitely end up together. We had made up our minds and had gone through all the necessary processes. It was just left with a few days and all we had to do was the traditional marriage ceremony followed by the wedding itself. The knocking ceremony was out-of-the-way, it had been announced at church and invitations were already out.

One day during counseling, the wise priest made it clear to us that until we were pronounced man and wife after exchanging our wedding vows, any of us could change our minds. We were surprised because none of us had considered changing our minds, or was I wrong? As if in answer to my question, my husband told the priest he was not going to change his mind.

I also told him I was not planning on making a mind change. He smiled at us and gave us examples of couples whose partners changed their minds few days to their wedding. Some had made announcements at church and already sent out invitations. Yet still, some were left standing at the altar alone. The sweet promises they had made to each other lay broken before their very eyes. From that time, it was at the back of my mind that anything could happen on the road to the altar.

A popular song by boyz to men caught the hearts of many back in the day as its lyrics promised an unending love. “I swear (I swear) by the moon and the stars in the sky I’ll be there (I’ll be there) I swear (and I swear) like the shadow that’s by your side I’ll be there (I’ll be there) for better or worse (better or worse) till death do us part I’ll love you with every single beat of my heart and I swear, I swear I swear. If you are familiar with this song, i am sure you are singing along by now that is if you remember the lyrics.

Who wouldn’t love such sweet words backed by promises of until death do us part? However, it is safer to believe such words on the marital altar where it is said before a multitude of witnesses and before God. Promises are beautiful but they can be broken, In fact they are usually broken. Don’t you remember a time when you were so sure you would fulfill a promise but surprised yourself by breaking it? In other words, adding weight to a promise by swearing will not make it come to pass.

Numbers 23:19 tells us that God is not man, that he should lie, or a son of man, that he should change his mind. Has he said, and will he not do it? Or has he spoken, and will he not fulfill it? That means a man or woman can lie or change their mind, it is only God who does not break his promises to his children. He is the only one who is noted for actually doing what he says he will do. King David said of the Lord in Psalm 138 verse 2 ” For You have magnified Your Word above all Your name”.

That is why Jesus cautions us in Matthew 5:33-37 “Do not take an oath at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, or by the earth, for it is his footstool, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. And do not take an oath by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil.

It is not uncommon to see many unmarried women wearing promise rings from their lovers who promise to marry them in future. Some even wear it on their wedding ring finger to deter other suitors. What a dangerous thing to do! What if the promise is broken and all the good men who thought you were married did not dare came near you? What if a man who could have made you happier passed you by to the next single lady with no ring on her finger?

Ecclesiastes 5:4-5 says “When you vow a vow to God, do not delay paying it, for he has no pleasure in fools; Pay what you vow. It is better that you should not vow than that you should vow and not pay”. This verse shows our fallibility as human beings and reiterates that it is better not to make a vow or promise than to do so and fail to fulfill our end of the bargain. If we as humans are capable of breaking our vows to God himself despite the repercussions, is it not easier to break promises we make to our fellow humans?

After all, there are so many excuses that can be appropriately used to break off a promise to a partner. With the application of such clever excuses such as my mother doesn’t like you, the one who breaks the promise takes himself out of the picture. Some even tell their partner that their parents do not agree to the tribal differences or that they had a vivid dream that revealed doom for them if they were to get married.

I am not casting a negative light at making promises which we intend to keep but rather at broken promises which has left many women broken. At times, the heartbreak and disappointment is not deliberately planned. A man can be serious at the time he promises heaven on earth. However, let us not forget Numbers 23:19 that reveals how man is prone to change his mind. Momentary feelings can be fickle and trusting in them completely can spell doom.

In the world of love and romance, men will continue to make promises to women. Some will fulfill these promises whilst others will break them due to one reason or the other. Women will also continue pledge themselves to men who have not taken serious steps towards marrying them. It is up to us to keep it at the back of our minds that promises made by man can be broken unlike promises made by God.

With this understanding, we can pray to God to allow his will for our lives come to pass. By reminding him of the promises he makes to us in His word and the fact that he cannot lie. That way, we challenge him to grant us our heart desires. Promise rings are beautiful symbols of love and many find them attractive. But the invisible seal of constant prayer on a single woman with bare fingers is better than a symbolic promise that can be broken.

When the fingers of a single woman in a relationship remain bare, her man knows that she attracts others who may be quicker in fulfilling their promises without symbols of delay. He makes himself ready to quickly lay claim to the woman he loves. The woman who constantly prays to God to fulfill his desire for her life has nothing to prove to the world. God makes sure to prove to the world around her that he is a God who does not lie.

 

 

 

 

LURED INTO LESBIANISM

LURED INTO LESBIANISM

NB: This is a story about a young woman who prays to God about her struggles with lesbianism. It is purely fictional and a result of my active imaginations. It is unrelated to any person dead or alive; any such resemblance is purely coincidental.

Sandra’s cross has not been easy to carry although she has labored under its heavy weight, which threatened to crush her any time soon. Lured into the act of lesbianism by a trusted friend of the family and initiated against her will, she was deeply hurt and angry with God for what she had become. Involved in an act her Christian upbringing did nothing to encourage, Sandra lived in a dilemma. She alone had to deal with her situation unknown to her family. She wished to speak to her father but doing so meant bringing shame to him since he was a Reverend Minister. Her mother was also an unlikely candidate for her confession though they were very close. She could also not bring herself to speak to her sisters for fear of condemnation. Only the God she had cast aside would really understand. No more able to bear the burden of the heavy cross, she goes to the Lord in prayer. This time, she determines to lay down the cross at His feet and walk away with her head held high once again.


Daddy Lord,

I am unworthy to stand before your presence, but I prefer your rebuke to losing you in this pool of sin. I don’t know how I found the courage to come to you today, but I know it is now or never. I have been going through the motions; a shadow of myself, confused and worried. Nevertheless, so far as I am here today, I am not leaving with this burden in my heart. Take this load away and give me your yoke that is lighter or I will fall at the weight of my grief! If you destroyed an entire nation because of this appalling act; then it is a wonder I am still here. You know me more than I know myself and even though my misdeed might not surprise you, I am aware it has not pleased you either.

It has taken me a while to get to the point where I can cast away the lies to agree with the truth. You did not create me to have sexual relations with my fellow woman. You created the perfect fix between a man and woman but I have reversed your perfect order and become abominable before you. If anyone had told me I would be in such a mess, I would have laughed the person to scorn. After all, I am the daughter of Reverend Smith and I have known your Word since I was an infant. The possibility of this happening to me was too minimal. Today however, I have gained insight into the fact that evil assigns its deeds fairly between the good and bad just as rain refuses to discriminate. No one can look into the future to predict the outcome when faced with life’s treacheries. To claim innocence in an act yet to happen is to be overconfident in our weak human strength.

Thus, I am not oblivious to the truth. I am not here to lay blame on anyone for my actions, but to lay my sinful deeds before you with no justification. My actions have hung my head so low by the weight of its heavy burden. No more will I die inside and smile outside, weeping within while laughter rings out of my mouth as I attempt to survive in an unsympathetic world. Four years ago when I entered college an innocent 15 year old, little did I know one forbidden act may possibly cause me to reject you for fear of you first rejecting me. I have read that you first loved me from the beginning of time but those words meant nothing to me, because I didn’t know, you were capable of forgiving something so sinful.

When Mary lured me into lesbianism, I didn’t know who to turn to for she was the Christian sister to whom my parents had entrusted. As a neighbor and a family friend, she was like a real sister to me and I never knew she could harm me. If you forbid this impermissible act, why did I eventually feel pleasure at her touch? Lured by whispers and gifts of so-called love, my naïve mind was too overwhelmed to fight back. Where were you when my body experienced the sharp pain as her fingers exploited my virgin body? When I cried out to you, why did you not answer me? God, where were you when I needed you to push her away from me and to save me from her? Why did you not prevent her manipulations and deceit from getting to me?

Why did I take her words as the gospel while I kept the real gospel in the bible under my pillow? If two women should not be together this way; then why do you not take away the feelings of pleasure when they explore each other’s bodies? Would it not have been easier for us to escape the temptation? It is still a mystery to me. After that fateful day, I have not been able to come before you although I wanted you to set me free. I thought I had become distasteful to you. Perhaps that is why I foolishly bought into the defense that some women are attracted to the same sex and can do nothing about it. You have spoken to me in my dreams. You have opened my eyes to the truth in your words, which I discarded. I have refused to see and to listen. Rather, my stance has been defensive. If you created me this way as the others believe, why change or feel guilty? What could I have done when I had no one to turn to? Was I to turn to my father the priest of Fire Ministries or my mother who is the anointed wife of the man of God? No!

Was I to turn to my elder sister who seems so perfect in my eyes or worse still my younger sister Tracy who looks up to me and follows my every step? Definitely not! While I was busy looking around me for someone to unburden my guilt and shame, I forgot you were there with me when it started but I refused to talk to you, and why not? Shame and guilt hung my head downwards. To make matters worse the media has taken a definite stance against anyone involved in this act. People have called us more horrible names than I can imagine. Where were they when my forced initiation was taking place? Did they have my back when I lay there like a sheep awaiting its slaughter? How many of them have carried the weight of guilt I have had to carry? The fear and condemnation told me I was better off dead than alive.

What about you God, where were you to save me? I thought your Word says those that call on your name shall be saved. It is so painful you did not save me as you looked on. I know I said I would not come to you with any blames, but my wounds still bleed and my tongue lashes out before I can control it. Just yesterday, as I was listening to the urban talk radio program, I couldn’t believe my ears when the caller suggested killing those involved in homosexual acts. He went on to say, he was going to take the law into his own hands if his recommendation went unheeded. How can the grave testify to our change when we lie dead in its cold depths? Is this the solution to the daily horror most of us live in; knowing very well we are living a lie? Will our punishment solve the problem when our hearts cry out for help and a way out? Hmmm, I wonder. My heart beat in fear and my head dropped lower as my family contributed to the discussion.

Their agreement with the caller hurt me so much, though they are not to blame. How were they to know their beloved daughter was also a culprit? What saddened me the most was how Mary’s mother who had come to visit was the most vocal in the discussion. Only if she knew, her daughter was more guilty than the others she criticized and that I had been her victim. I have been able to avoid Mary since she finished school, although the seed she planted in me has grown to the point of fruition. It is a miracle even though I had been secretly practicing this abominable act, I have never inflicted the same harm meted out to me on innocent girls who came to the school. Protecting some of them from more fierce colleagues has even earned me enemies in the same circles. Lord, I know your love for humanity is not dependent on good deeds but I hope you will show me the same mercy I had on those innocent girls, as I have come before your mercy seat.

When I look at my younger sister about to enter college; fear grips my heart. The thought of the same destruction possibly awaiting her is agonizing for me. Help me oh God, for I need to talk to her about my experience regardless of the outcome. My pain should be enough for both of us. Give me the courage and strength to speak to her. May she not thread that deadly path I thread, for her gentle spirit may not be able to survive this repulsive act. When I took the decision today I would no more be a slave of anyone’s imagination, my eyes were open to the fact; that forgiving Mary was the key to my healing and deliverance. I never knew I could come to this decision since the bitterness I feel towards her tastes worse than the sourest pill. However, I have noticed holding this unforgiveness against her holds me captive as well.

She is also the product of a corrupted world and deserves the same forgiveness I seek from you, even if she is too ashamed to ask for it. Therefore, in your presence oh lord, I forgive her and forgive myself. Like the washing away of trash into the mighty ocean, wash away my trash with the sea of blood; shed by your son Jesus while here on earth. Remember them no more and wipe my slate clean again as you promised me in your holy books. Remember all those who are in such bondage as you depicted with the adulterous woman in the bible; stopping anyone from hurling stones at her. This way, they too can have the chance to go and sin no more, if they are willing. I know you are always ready to pull out those who reach out their hands to your already extended ones. The seed of sin planted in my heart through the exploitation of my innocent body and the whispered lies, bore fruits that I refuse to recognize from now on.

I come to you as my lord and personal savior, who never left my side though I left in anger and disappointment that my God could not protect me. Who can understand your ways and answer the question every hurting Christians asks; why do good people suffer? Only you know; I rejoice in the ability to come out of suffering and still see you as the only God worthy of my praise. The devil is a liar indeed! One lesson I have learnt in all this, is that when you constantly listen to a lie, you eventually believe it. No wonder I began to believe, you created me to be with a woman and not a man. The mere fact that my heart beats at the sight of an attractive woman does not means I am a lesbian. No longer, will I allow my heart and my ear to lead me astray. For a house built in the shape of a car is still a house and not a car. It is a wonder for six months, I have kept clean of this act even when I had not taken a personal decision to stop. My heart had already decided it would no longer go that way.

Can it be the spirit in me? The fire I dimmed when I stopped reading your word blazes within me again and I will fuel it in your presence. I am so grateful I did not lure my sister into it since some of my friends practice it with their own siblings. Please help them! My heart trembles at the thought and I promise to be an advocate against homosexuality with you as my help. Taking my bible after so long and reading that you will remember my sins no more and make me a new creature is all the push I need. I now realize you never let me go as I thought. You sent good friends my way; but I was so ashamed to go near them. I thought they were so pure. You protected me from sickness and other social vices and kept my grades up even though my morals were down. Today, I can say I not only forgive Mary for her initiation and my parents for leaving me in her care, but I also forgive myself. Not running to the cross but moving further away from it, was my worst mistake.

You who created me in your image and saw I was good; you have lifted my head and taken away the sorrow from my eyes. You who know the plans you have for me even before my birth. I rededicate my life to you and ask you to remove every seed of shame, lies, pain and deviation from your word. That I may be the confident woman, you want me to be, no longer focusing on my imperfections. I learn to entrust my life to you; believing man’s mercilessness cannot crush me while I am in the palm of your hands. Preserve my body as your holy temple, until you bring me the man you created specially for me. In addition, let the effect of this sinful past be my past indeed!

All I need is for you to help me believe in your words, which you have exalted above your holy name. Let me believe you took away my shame as you hang on the cross. It is too good to be true! As Jesus died and rose again, I put to death every doubt and rise with you as the new creature you have made me today. No more bondage, no more lies, no more compromise! I am free indeed; the sun has set me free! Thank you Jesus for the blood you shed, because it can remove every stubborn stain of sin. Amen!

RELATED BIBLE PASSAGES

ROMANS 1: 26-27

For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error. ;

GALATIANS 5: 19-21

Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

LEVITICUS 18: 22-23

You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination. And you shall not lie with any animal and so make yourself unclean with it, neither shall any woman give herself to an animal to lie with it: it is perversion.

COLOSSIANS 3: 5

Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.

QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION

Like Sandra, how does the betrayal of a trusted Christian cause you to view other Christians?

Do you agree forgiving the people who hurt us the most is the beginning of our victory?

Do you agree with Sandra that believing a lie can make it seem like the truth?

How did the self-righteous behavior of her parents and sisters push her deeper into the sin of lesbianism?

Have you ever been angry with God for not coming to your aid as Sandra laments? How does this push us further from him and into sin?

I AM NOT A WITCH!

I AM NOT A WITCH!

NB: This is a story about an elderly woman falsely accused of witchcraft. It is purely fictional and a result of my active imaginations. It is unrelated to any person dead or alive; any such resemblance is purely coincidental.

Mrs. Wellington suffered great humiliation when her only daughter; Rosemary accused her of witchcraft after being unable to conceive four years into her marriage. As an educated and God- fearing woman who was innocent of the crime, she wasn’t sure what hurt her the most. Was it her daughter’s accusation or the witchcraft Label? Never in her wildest dreams had she imagined that this would befall her. The pain cut too deep because it came from the one she loved the most in her life; Rosemary. Although the false accusation had marred their beautiful relationship, she wished her daughter’s eyes would open to the truth. How does one forgive something like this? Who will restore her ruined reputation? Was it worth sacrificing all for her daughter? These questions among others plagued her mind daily. She prayed ceaselessly that vindication will meet her alive. That she could witness her daughter’s repentance and the disgrace of the charlatan prophet. In a bid to find a place in her heart to forgive her daughter, she laments her plight to God.


God of Justice,

I wish you would take my life rather than allow me endure this pain. Even though your Word says you will not give me anything I cannot bear, this test is too difficult. I am too weak to endure and don’t think I will be around for my own vindication. My daughter has dragged my image in the mud. I have been soiled and wonder what can make me clean again. Time without number I have heard of women accused of witchcraft by their own children. I never knew that I too would endure this stigma.

I have heard people justify such accusations by quoting Exodus 22:18 that states; “suffer not a witch to live. It is interesting how scripture comes in handy to back up man’s evil plans.Why do you still keep me in your presence and not strike me dead if I am a witch? Why do I continue to feel your presence anytime I talk to you? Is this my cross? My daughter and only child whom I bore at the brink of death has accused me of things I know nothing about. At the mere sign of danger, I will sacrifice my life for her. For as your Word asks in Isaiah 49: 15. “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne?

You know I refused to marry again when her father died for fear that she would become a stepdaughter. Do I blame her or the so-called prophet who told her I was a witch? That I was the reason she had not been able to get pregnant after four years of marriage. That I was responsible for her father’s death and have eaten all the babies in my womb. What a ridiculous thing to say and a painful thing to hear! Do I blame my daughter who believed it or the prophet who said it? No doubt, my daughter is the cause of my pain. Not even the prophets of old who spoke directly from you could have convinced me that my own daughter was a witch. I believe in prophesy, but I measure it with the bible and the wisdom you have given to your children.

Great God, your Words are true and sure, I do not refute the existence of these witches. To do so would be foolish because you have taught me that we do not fight against flesh-and-blood, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places ; Ephesians 6: 2.  I wonder what to do to mend my broken heart due to this false accusation. What do I know of witchcraft but for what I see in movies? How can I change myself into an animal when I am afraid of even the cutest kitten?

When the one I love most in this world, looked me in the eye with hatred where there used to be love, I felt like dying. When she shouted accusations regardless of the neighbors, I envied the deaf for the first time in my life. It would have been better never to hear those words. It was as if a different person spoke through her, I had never seen her that way. I was confused when she asked me to untie her womb so she could have children. I did not need to ask her to explain herself for the insults that followed were as blows received in a boxing ring.

Every punch sent me reeling with shock; I wonder how I could stand on my feet for so long because I felt suddenly numb. Only you oh God, could have kept me so strong. The greatest blow ringing in my ear until now is the word; “Witch”! which was followed by the clapping of her hands and stumping of her feet. It was as if she had known no education or morals. When she warned me never to come near her again, I died inside because I had made her my life. Who will be my friend, my sister and confidant? Who will believe my story and how do I prove my innocence? Vindicate me Lord, for when the heart comes out to say it has a hole in it, everyone will believe it.

Wipe my tears and keep my lips far from a curse despite the indelible stain she has placed upon my life. How can the lips that daily uttered the words ” I love you, mum” change to such wicked accusations? Where is the love and respect I used to see in her eyes anytime she looked at me? Where are you God of justice, be silent no more! Your Word says you hate all  who prophecy falsely in your name. I wish I could storm the prophet’s church and accuse the charlatan of breaking my home but wisdom cautions me not to go that way. The brainwashed congregation may harm me and truly believe that my rage and quest for vindication is indeed a sign of witchcraft. They accept every word that comes out of the mouth of the so-called prophet like the Word of God.  How did my daughter find herself in that church? That was the 9th church she had visited in less than three months despite my caution that you do not reside in buildings. Are you no more omnipresent, or do you now have favorite places of habitation?

Did Christianity come to bring us bondage or the liberation for which Jesus suffered? Did he come to break the chains only for us to bind ourselves tighter, unable to enjoy his sacrifice? Your people are truly perishing for lack of knowledge as you warned. Where is the liberty in Christ? Where is the love? Where is the power to liberate the mind? Hold my heart, oh God! Comfort me and vindicate me speedily because I am sinking deeper into depression. Give me the zeal to continue living that I may once again see the love in my daughter’s eyes. And witness the quest for forgiveness pouring from her lips.

You alone know the true answers to these questions; so tell me. Why are the so-called witches far more than the wizards? Why do young women suddenly become witches when they become old women? Why are those at the witch camps unable to fly away to safety or devour the human beings who keep them captive? Why are they physically caned in an attempt to punish the spiritual wickedness residing in them? Why has life turned to a race, to the extent that we rather give you the deadlines? Why do we neglect your will for what we want to see happen in our lives? When to have a job, where to go to school, when to marry, have children, male or female, durations between them, where we want to live, the cars we want to drive to mention a few.

Does the created now dictate to the creator? Why are we ready to cast stones at innocent ones blaming them for our own mistakes, challenges, delays and most importantly your will for our lives? It seems our power as Christians suffers at the hands of ignorance. I was shocked to hear of an instance when a student failed an important paper on a Monday morning after an all night prayer session. He slept behind the paper and turned around to blame the witches in his household for his failure. How does one cheat nature like this and expect to win? Help us see that you are a Just God; that a man truly reaps what he sows.

If I thought education had more power over religion, I know better now. The educational height, I sacrificed for my daughter has proved futile. I wonder how she forgot that I fasted and prayed more for her than I did for myself. How could she forget that I fell sick anytime she was sick because I was afraid to lose her? That i stood by her bed at night as she slept searching for a sign of her heartbeat. That I covered all her mistakes when her husband came to ask for her hand in marriage painting the perfect picture that was far from the truth. Has she forgotten how I secretly went to cook all her meals in her matrimonial home until she was perfect to cover her shame? How I helped with all the household chores to ease her stress? Is this witchcraft label my reward for all the sacrifice?

If I were a witch, why did I let her go freely after publicly humiliating me? Does this witch have a heart after all? What is the use of the bible classes I encouraged her to attend to make her more knowledgeable in your Word? It is interesting how the real witches are let off the hook while those of us who know nothing fall prey to these charlatans. It is easier to take the blame for a crime committed than to be falsely accused. Who will fight for me but you oh lord? This cross is too heavy; bring helpers my way! Open my daughter’s eyes to the truth and I will continue to serve you, all the days of my life.

I pity the real men of God who speak only when you have spoken. I speak of those who add wisdom to their spiritual gifts in order not to break up families. Those who seek your face continually and keep their mouth shut, when you have revealed nothing to them. Those who hold their tongue when they do not understand what they see for your ways are mysterious. Those real men of God have lost their respect due to the misdeeds of the fakes.

Do the ones who speak out of ignorance understand that you hate their deeds with a passion? Can they comprehend how you value your Words even above your name? Your name that is above all names is now misused and abused. Do they know the disaster that awaits them, anytime they say what you have not said? When they crave man’s applause wowing the congregation, can they feel your wrath? Do they know how you feel anytime they insult your Holy Spirit like this? The many tears shed by innocent women spell out their own doom; for even Jesus could not stand a weeping woman.

As I beat my naked bosom before you in despair, I pray you show yourself strong in my case. Let the whole world know that you are my God! My God, above whom I have placed no other god. You are the God who attends to the cry of his people and rescues them out of the hands of the wicked. Rescue me lord, the wicked seek to devour me alive! What I fear has come upon me and my daughter has rejected me. The pain in her eyes as she accused me, told me that I had hurt her deeper than anyone had. Oh lord, I am not capable of this and you know it. Do not be silent! Speak for all to hear!

Who am I to feed my daughter to wolves when you did not feed me to the roaming lion, Satan? Who am I to close her womb when I am not omniscient? Who am I to follow her around when I am not omnipresent? Who am I to do all these when I am not omnipotent? Your potency is what I need to bring me out of this dilemma. My neighbors point hands at me, whispering at my back. They say vile things, which they know nothing about. They look strangely at me as if I were not part of this planet and back away with fear when I pass by. I am but a mere mortal mistaken for a witch. They have quickly forgotten my good deeds and thrown my kindness in my face as if I were a piece of trash.

I have been soiled, shamed and killed; I am a living dead! At least I was not disgraced before a congregation like the woman who died last year. The shame was too much for her. How was she to defend herself? Who would fight for her? How does one defend herself amid blinded multitudes that see their pastors as God? Your people have neglected you, casting down all wisdom and following ignorance. Save us Lord, this manipulation is deadly! If a so-called prophet accuses a young virgin of fornication, how does she shout out the lie in the midst of the congregation without being called possessed?

We are in bondage, Lord teach us! Teach us to understand the workings of your Spirit. Teach us to overcome the fear that causes us to see that, which do not exist. Teach us to be patient so we do not lay blame on the innocent. Let us grasp your individual will for our lives. Teach us to understand that our ways are not your ways. That it is your will that will prevail regardless of our plans. Teach us that not every barren woman is cursed and not every old woman is a witch. Help us fathom that not all spinsters are married in the spiritual realm. That not every woman will get pregnant within a year of her marriage. Some may never have children and must not live in shame.

Let understanding fill us to appreciate that it is possible for a woman to have a baby at fifty if that is your will for her. Bring us to the realization that we cannot give you deadlines. We do not have the power to create ourselves and even taking away our own lives is an abomination before you. Teach us to be still and watch you work after we have prayed, fasted and given you thanks. Let us not go astray when we do not understand what is happening in our lives because our minds cannot fully comprehend your ways. The desires of our flesh are too powerful to wait before you. Please help us overcome!

Give us the peace to accept your will for our lives. Give us courage to face the brunt of society that questions your will for our lives. Teach us to be content when we have tried all we can and the situation does not change. Teach us to know your power that is stronger than any witch or evil spirit. Let us come to the realization that we disgrace you in our fear. This fear communicates to you that you cannot save your children from the hands of the enemy. Teach us, oh lord teach us!

Save my daughter and open her eyes, I forgive her as you forgave me on the cross of Calvary. I come to you on her behalf. Open her womb and let her know that you are God omnipotent, who does things in your own time. No one can advice you for the wisdom of man is a tiny fraction of yours. When all is said and done, reveal to her why you caused this to happen. The reason for wanting her to wait is yours alone. Let her call me mummy again, I yearn to hear those words. Who can comprehend a mother’s love? Let her experience power, mercy and love all the days of her life. But if my daughter never gets to know the truth or refuses to call me mummy again, then help me fly away. Give me the wings to fly far away from this cruel world into your bosom where even real witches are forgiven. Amen…


RELATED BIBLE PASSAGES

Matthew 24: 24

For false christs and false prophets will arise and perform great signs and wonders, so as to lead astray, if possible, even the elect.

2 Timothy 4: 3

For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions,

2 Peter 2: 1-3

But false prophets also arose among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you, who will secretly bring in destructive heresies, even denying the Master who bought them, bringing upon themselves swift destruction. And many will follow their sensuality, and because of them the way of truth will be blasphemed. And in their greed they will exploit you with false words. Their condemnation from long ago is not idle, and their destruction is not asleep.

Deuteronomy 18: 22

When a prophet speaks in the name of the Lord, if the word does not come to pass or come true, that is a word that the Lord has not spoken; the prophet has spoken it presumptuously. You need not be afraid of him.

QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION

  1. Does the issue of false accusation of witchcraft in the church plague your society?
  1. Would you be able to forgive your daughter if you were Mrs. Wellington?
  1. Why does God deal very harshly with false prophets who say what He has not said?
  1. If you were Mrs. Wellington’s daughter, how differently would you have acted when the prophet gave you that revelation even if it was the truth?
  1. Does every problem a Christian encounters here on earth have to do with evil spirits?

© [Matilda N. Dennis-Quaicoe] and [Intimate moments with my father], [2015]. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to [Matilda N. Dennis-Quaicoe] and [Intimate moments with my father] with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.